DEMOCRACY MEANS "THEM ALL CRAZY!" STAMATICS CONTINUES! PRAISE THE LORD, SOMEBODY: READ, SING AND WHAT'S YOUR VIEW
IF; I (INTERNATIONAL FILMING INSTITUTE)
* When I say, "I AM A DIVINE CHRISTIAN! ARE YOU DIVINE?"
YOUR RESPONSE IS: "I AM!"
* COURTESY: DIVINE CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD (DCCG).
STORY! STORY! STORY! ONCE UPON A TIME!
I MET THIS SOMEWHERE BACK IN THE DAYS!: "IWE, IWE, IWE; IWE, IWE, IWE; IWE NE WE ANYI, AH, EH, IWE NE WE ANYI! ANYI AMAGHI OTU OSI WE NA, HA BU OLE NWA OBODO ANYI, IWE!"
I STARTED LAUGHING!: "HAHAHAHA!"
DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF THIS SONG! WHEN I ASKED "TUNE KNEW BOO!": HE CORRECTLY AND TRUTHFULLY SAID IT MEANS "VEX, VEX, VEX; VEX, VEX, VEX; WE ARE VEXED, AH, EH, WE ARE VEXING, WE DON'T KNOW HOW HE LEFT! THEY HAVE KILLED OUR PERSON! VEX!"
NOW, THAT MADE SUCH PERSON TRUSTWORTHY, ISN'T IT?
THE "ORDER" WORD FOR VEX IS "ANGER!"
THE WORD IS NOT "THE BOSSIEST PRESIDENT ALIVE," IT IS, ACTUALLY, "THE BUSTIEST MALE PRESIDENT ALIVE!"
I NOW SAID, "MR TUNE KNEW BOO, BE CAREFUL WITH ME, HOW CAN THE AME SENTENCE MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS! IWE NE WE ANYI MEANS 'WE ARE VEXED' AND ALSO 'WE ARE VEXING!' WHAT'S THIS NOW 'TUNE KNEW BOO!'
"MR TUNE KNEW BOO NEARLY PISS FOR BODY, HIM THINK SEY I GO ORDER HIM DEATH FOR LYING!"
I LAUGHED AT THE FUNNY COMEDIAN "TUBE KNEW BOO" AND SAID WITH ALL SERIOUSNESS THAT WHEN I RECOVERED FROM THE NEXT AMNESIA INJECTION, HE MUST HAVE BEEN A PRESIDENT UNDER ME FOR HE HAS MY APPROVAL!
I WAS SOMEONE THAT IF YOU ARE SAYING ONE THING, I WILL BE HEARING ANOTHER THING FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE AS FUNNY OR SERIOUS INTERPRETATION! SO, I USED TO LAUGH LIKE A MAD MAN BEFORE NOW IN PUBLIC WHILE WITH MY ORDER MEMBERS OF ASPIRING PRESIDENTS AND PRESIDENTS OR EVEN EX PRESIDENTS BOTH MILITANTS AND CIVILIAN PRESIDENTS (FORMER AND PRESENT), SO THEY LAUGHED ALONG OUT OF FEAR EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT BEFORE THAT IT WAS OUT OF LOVE. WHEN I SAW IT WAS GROSS FEAR AROUND ME, EXCEPT DARING LITTLE CHILDREN WHO SHOCKINGLY WANTED WILD SEX FROM A GROWN UP, I THOUGHT THOSE BOYS WERE MAD AT FIRST. AT MY AGE, I THOUGHT!
A FULL GROWN UP MAN! Y'ALL MENTAL I SAID ONCE! AND LAUGHED AT MY BUSTY MALE SELF! THEY THOUGHT I LAUGHED AT THEM SO THEY BECAME MORE DARING AT ASKING FOR SEX FROM ME THAT I AIN'T WILLING TO GIVE TO NO SMALL MUGU! ACTUALLY, IT'S MONGUL NOT MUGU! THIS IGBO PEOPLE SELF WITH THEIR OWN INTERPRETATIONS, I WILL CAST MY NEWS BACK THEN, NEWS WILL CARRY ANOTHER THING. WHO DID? FUNNY ABI!
STORY CONTINUES...
THIS SAME "MR TUNE KNEW BOO" LOOKED AT ME IN THE FACE ONE TIME AND SAID "I LOVE CRACKING JOKES" ABI NA "I LOVE TO CRACK JOKES" HIM TALK!
I SHOUTED: "WHAT!!!"
IF IT WERE TO BE IN ANOTHER PLACE OR COUNTRY, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT AS YOU CALLING ME "A JOKE THAT NEEDS TO BE CRACKED" BUT I GAVE HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN TO ME!"
HE SAID IN RESPONSE!: "OGA, I WANT TO PISS, WHERE IS THE BATHROOM!"
WITH THE VEX ON MY FACE AND THE LAUGHTER IN MY HEART, I POINTED THE BATHROOM DIRECTION TO HIM WITH MY FINGERS!
NOW, SEE ME!: "I'M BUSY CRACKING JOKES 'UP AND DOWN'!"
FUNNY ABI? SO FUNNY! WHAT A LIFE!
IN TIME PAST, "I SAID I DON'T HAVE ENEMIES" BUT GOD ALMIGHTY SHOWED ME PEPPER!" HAVE YOU HEARD THIS SENTENCE BEFORE!: "RICE AND BEANS, MAKE EBA ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!"
DO YOU NOW SEE THE REASON WHY YOU GO TO PARTIES HERE IN NIGERIA AND EBA AND SOUP FULL GROUND, ALONGSIDE RICE. THERE IS RICE ABROAD, DID I FLY ALL THE WAY HERE TO EAT ONLY RICE. NA SO, PERSON COME DEY GIVE, "EBA IN THE MORNING, EBA IN THE AFTERNOON AND EBA IN THE NIGHT," ABEG OH, WHO DOES THAT! NO BE KWASHIOKO BE THAT?
DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF "KWASHIOKO" IN IGBO LANGUAGE!: "IT MEANS 'I THINK IT IS, TELL IT/HIM/HER TO BE SCARCE" OR "BREAK, TELL HIM/HER THAT ALL THIS MUST STOP/SHOULD BECOME RARE!"
AS YOUNG AS I AM SOMEBODY WILL BE CALLING MA, "WHO DOES THAT?" WHY OH WHY! I'M TRAUMATIZED! AM I OLD AGAIN! I'M FUNNY ABI?
STORIES CONTINUES....
AND SO, AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE THE CURRENT BEFORE,
MAKE WE USE LUCKY DUBE SONG DO REMIX, YOU KNOW THAT SONG, "IT'S NOT EASY, MAMA, I'M GETTING DIVORCED OH, I'M GETTING DIVORCED!"
NOW SEE MY OWN NEW LATEST REMIX OF THE SONG HERE!:
ENEMIES FULL GROUND, NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY EH, EH 'LOVE YOUR ENEMIES AND BLESS THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU!'
NOW SOMEBODY FOLLOW ME AND SAY!: "NA SO!"
ABEG AWON "GREATEST INTEL OF ALL TIMES!": "IS IT TRUE THAT OSAMA BIN LADEN IS THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE BUSTIEST PRESIDENT OF AFRICA AND USA IN CONNECTION AND SIGNATURE OF QUEEN ELIZABETH THAT DIED RECENTLY LAST YEAR OR SO!" ABEG THEM TEACH YOU ALL THIS THINGS FOR YOUR SCHOOLS? THE THING BE LIKE LOST MEMORY! IS IT TRUE! I FOR CALL ANOTHER PERSON BUT HE AT WAR! PLEASE INTELS ANSWER ABEG I NEED ANSWERS, DON'T LET ME TAG MENTAL HEALTH ABEG! IT'S LIKE I WASA MAN BEFORE NOW I AMA WOMAN! I NEED HELP! I TRUELY NEED HELP! IS IT TRUE! CHILDREN PLEASE IS THIS IN YOUR TEXTBOOKS! HAVE YOU READ OF SUCH MIGHTY PRESIDENT BEFORE! ABI DID THEY TELL YOU IT'S SECRET CULT! LORD HAVE MERCY! PLEASE #MENTAL HEALTH IF YOU AGREE WITH ME OR NOT! CHECK IT THEY MUST HAVE TAUGHT YOU IN SCHOOLS, UNLESS I'M WRONG!
AM I THE FUNNY COMEDIAN THIS TIME? AM I WITH FAKE MEMORIES? OR ARE YOU WITH FAKE SCHOOL TEXT BOOKS? PLEASE HELP ME, OH,OH OH! TIME HAS GONE! I'M NOW OLD AND GREY, FOREVER LOOKING YOUNG! NO WORD AT ALL! NOW WORD! WHERE ARE THE TEXT BOOKS TALKING ABOUT ME, OH, I WOULD REGAINED MY MEMORY EARLIER IF THERE WERE ANY TEXTBOOKS AT ALL.
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